Do you really want to know me? I’m nothing but an empty barrel of poor diets and terrible sleeping patterns. I am the person who belongs nowhere with the delusions of someone who believes they can be anyone. I am the instant texter because of the paranoia that fills my mind because I cannot help but believe that I am not deserving of such relationships in my life. I am the dark bedroom filled with a blinding computer screen and the stench of chips. I am a lost hope walking blindly through last minute assignments and tests I never studied for. My room is constantly reshaped due to the illusion of a different space meaning a better version of myself. I am the emptiness behind the stolen jokes and the overused humour.
But I will tell you this; despite every flawed characteristic I have, I stand by everyone I meet. I will always be the one to lost sleep because of a friend desperately in need of support. I am a huge believer in the importance of closeness and vulnerability in every relationship. I try to become close with everyone I meet, not for my own selfish validation of “selfless” kindness, but for the sole purpose of learning. In my time, I have created friendships with people of all areas, from depressed artists to passionate future doctors. I have seen the true beauty in their voices as they gain that momentum of confidence, that tiny spark blasting into wildfires as they become vulnerable to me. For the longest time, I’ve never been sure of what I want to be
For the longest time, I have never been sure of what I want to be, whether it’s an IT specialist or an artist of some sort. But the more reflection made upon my past, upon the relationships developed over the years, an idea has risen. I want to help people in the best possible way I can. Yes, I know I have much to work on to become such an impact, but it will all be worth it.